Dealing With Infidelity In Marriage
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Heart Changing Answers on How to Learn to Trust Again After My Wife Cheated on Me

If you find yourself saying, “My wife cheated on me” then you certainly have a reason to feel lost and alone. What makes it worse is you felt something was wrong but was told, “It’s your imagination—you just don’t trust me!” then finding out you were right, how to learn to trust again isn’t going to be easy.

Why did My Wife Cheat on Me?

There are a lot of reasons your wife would find herself cheating on you. The key reason though is for fulfillment. Let me explain.

The marriage starts out a happy one but after accumulating everything she wanted her happiness gets deflated. She thinks it is her, the way she looks, or something psychological. It is sort of like a mid-life crisis for women.

After running out of reasons what it could be, she finds she just isn’t getting fulfilled. She’ll strike out and experiment at first (just to see if she can do it). Then she finds she can’t help herself after repeated flirts with the same guy outside the marriage.  

You are not to blame for the affair nor are you negligent for not seeing it coming on. You did have a responsibility though to share in making an environment within the marriage that promotes fidelity, happiness and communication. It is unfair for you when you find out but coping, healing and moving on will get you past the affair.

 Why How to Learn to Trust Again is Important

Finding out, you can’t stop thinking to yourself, “My wife cheated on me”. Right now it looks like the marriage is over because of the affair. But also you must remember a few things first before deciding.

You and your wife had some good times and been through some tough times. This could be just the toughest thing you both will have to work through. And each time you got through a tough time before, it just made the marriage stronger.

Another thing to remember you don’t know any of the particulars. You need to think about yourself first, heal with everything out on the table and then decide how to proceed with the marriage. Then there will be no regrets and no buried feeling of anger or resentment that can follow you both around.

How to Learn to Trust Again After My Wife Cheated on Me

There are some simple things to do that can show you how to learn to trust again. The process of coping, healing and moving on, if done right will help you trust again eventually but your wife has to really prove herself trustworthy after making you feel, “My wife cheated on me”.

  • First thing your wife needs to show you she is sincere about fixing the marriage. If she hasn’t already she needs to stop the affair and never talk to the outsider again.
  • Second your wife needs to help you in any way possible while you learn to cope with the trauma and turmoil caused by the affair to you.
  • Third your wife needs to become transparent to you. Her betraying you, and making you feel nothing was wrong when it was makes how to learn to trust again much harder.
  • Fourth your wife needs to seek counseling to show how serious she is about winning back your trust and repairing the marriage. Later you both can go together and find out how to keep infidelity out of your marriage and promote fidelity, happiness, and communication.


How to learn to trust again after my wife cheated on me can prove to be difficult. Knowing why she cheated and discovering the things in the marriage that allowed the infidelity can provide all the information to move on. Then you decide if the marriage is worth saving and in the process, trusting again will just happen.

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2 Responses to “Heart Changing Answers on How to Learn to Trust Again After My Wife Cheated on Me”

  1. Roy Daniel Says:

    Dear Sir,
    My wife sent bad sms to her boyfriend and I caught….no I am unable to trust her….and i feel that she doent love me…also my wife doesnt speak much during our conversation…however she promised me she will never be in touch with the guy again…Now i am spying my wife quite often which i need to stop and need to start trusting her again…

    kindly help


    Roy Daniel

  2. admin Says:

    To Roy Daniels
    There is nothing wrong with you feeling you aren’t able to trust your wife. Your wife betrayed your trust and it will probably take a long time to rebuild it. You aren’t the blame for your wifes infidelity because if there is a problem in the marriage she is supposed to come to you and talk about it. What happens with a lot of cheating spouses is he or she will feel talking with their spouse is not an option. A cheating spouse in this situation finds a person outside the marriage to talk to and ends up developing strong feelings and that is just wrong.

    Telling yourself you are going to trust your wife may work for a while but without understanding why it happened in the first place the infidelity is bound to happen again down the road. Either your wife will chaet again or if you seperate what ever the problem is will still be there in any future relationships. Unless your wife has a patern of infidelity since you both been together cheating is more a symptom of a deeper problem in the relationship. Sometimes getting to the deeper problem isn’t posible right after finding out. There is still too much tension and emotional damage to get to the truth.

    You already took one step by making your wife promise she would never talk to the other guy again. You need to take some time to regain your self-respect and regain your self-worth and feel like the strong person you were before the infidelity. Once you start feeling stronger you and your wife need to talk about things. Dig down deep into what happened that led up to make your wife feel she had t o go outside the marriage to get a her needs met (needs she is supposed to get from within the marriage). Once you get through all that then you can decide if the marriage is worth fixing or not.

    Some of the things you can do to regain your self-respect and self-worth is go out with friends. Tell them a little of what is going on but don’t dwell on it. Let them show you how to have fun again and soon you will be feeling better. Exercise and losing weight can boost your self-image or buying new clothes, a new hair cut or anything to change your looks. And don’t worry about your wife cheating again because she broke the trust it is up to her to make things right again. Let her know you are going to try but there are no promises. If she is being truely sincere about wanting a second chance she will not mess up again. If she is not being sincere than you will be strong enough that you won’t need her to feel complete anymore.

    If you have problems seek professional help through family counseling or look around on the Internet for a program that is designed to help with the situation you are going through. A great help would be to read the free report offered on this website. It goes into more depth of what I’m trying to tell you. Good Luck and I hope this helps.

    Roy H.

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